Clock

Clock of Doom: This legndary clock is where time is actually buried.



The Clock, or "Time™ Captain," is an internationally recognized piece of machinery designed to hypnotize mankind into the depths of ennui. Clocks are deceiving by nature, using anything from sticks to numbers in order to convey the sun's approximate postion through the display of a series of coordinates known as Time™ . True though it may seem, Time™, is merely a social construct created by man in order to know when to go to sleep and when to wake up. Clocks are the harbringers of Time™, and display the necessary coordinates needed for one to effectively make use of one's daylight hours by keeping a schedule of events, and then becoming a slave to that schedule.

Time™ Captains themselves are not inherently evil, but often times are constructed in such a way to enrage and agonize any common man or woman beyond belief. Beyond Belief! Some clocks are equipped with "alarms"-- which are auditory signals to announce the arrival of a designated Time™ which range from such awful sounds as DONG to DI-DEE-DI-DI-DEE-DI, and even the cauterwauling echo of BREEEKBREEEKBREEEKBREEEK!!! The alarm can cause a series of emotions including fear, depression, anger, sadness, badness, whiny, sick, nervous, weariness, resentment, and mad.

Clocks come in a variety of shapes and sizes, including smaller, wearable versions called "Watches" because its the only thing you wear that does anything. These go on your wrist or on a giant chain around your neck, Flava Flav.